Results are in.....SORT OF.

Okay, we are beyond frustrated at this point. I got a call from Emerson's GI doctor today with the results of her capsule endoscopy. Every thing looks normal EXCEPT that the mucosa lining of the small bowel is swollen and fragile (it started to bleed as soon as he inserted the camera). That doesn't even make sense. "Everything looked normal expect". Can anyone explain that phrase to me. Anyway, he said that this swelling was non-specific which is doctor code for "we still don't know what the hell we are dealing with here." So, what's the next step? You are not going to believe this, because I sure didn't. He suggests that this could all be from a milk protein allergy and to put her on a milk/dairy-free diet for a month to see if her hemoglobin and hematocrit levels rise. Are you kidding me? Shouldn't this have been the first step in the diagnosis process? It is the non-invasive approach! If it turns out that the final diagnosis is a milk protein allergy after 18 months of GI issues, I might have to turn all Erin Brockovich and find a way to get all our money back for these outrageously expensive tests. Not to mention all the trauma Emerson has gone through with doctor visits, hospital visits, anesthesia, bowel preps, blood draws, etc. Why has this never been mentioned before. I mean, Reagan had a milk protein allergy as an infant and outgrew it shortly after her first birthday. They had the same GI doctor so he knew the genetic history. Just further proof that these doctors have their heads so far up their asses they can't put two and two together. I'm thinking I can claim fraud and emotional distress. Sounds reasonable, right?

Part of me wants this to be the answer because that means an end to all the testing and no surgery. An easy fix, right? Well, eventually an easy fix. It will definitely be hard to put Emerson on a milk free diet. Just in my post I wrote of how much she LOVES ice cream and chocolate. She has made leaps and bounds toward branching out her diet. The variety of foods she will now eat is so much greater now. Just today I was watching her eat and thought about how proud I was of her. I am no longer worried that she is not getting a balanced diet. Last night she ate a hamburger (with requested lettuce and tomato) and today she ate a teryaki chicken and rice dish with red pepper and carrots over pizza. Now, I am going to have to tell her "no" to some of the foods she has grown to like. I am really going to have to get creative. At least for this month she can't have anything that contains milk. This includes cheese, yogurt, ice cream, butter, chocolate. The real question is "what CAN she eat?" To give you an idea of how drastically her diet will have to change, this is what she ate today that included milk products: cheerios with milk for breakfast; a Yoplait yogurt smoothie drink and a piece of bread with Nutella spread for lunch; a brownie for an afternoon snack; a go-gurt yogurt for a snack before bed. Plus, she asked several times to go get ice cream as well.

The other hard part of this diet is how to make sure Reagan and Pierce are getting their adequate dairy intake on a daily basis. Reagan doesn't drink milk and also loves cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. Do I deny her these things as well. Do I not even have these products in the refrigerator to offer anyone? I'm really going to miss the fun trips to the yogurt shop that Emerson loves so much. However, Jamie may be the hardest to retrain. He loves having chocolate, chocolate chip cookies and ice cream in the house. He is now going to have to sneak his goodies at work. So much to think about. I don't think I am going to get much sleep tonight.

Of course my first question for the doctor was, "what if this doesn't help with the bleeding?" Well, that means more diagnostic testing. At least we know for sure we have a month long break from anything invasive. I have an appointment with the nutritionist at Children's on May 5th to go over this diet plan. I'm not too sure of the reason. How complicated can it be? I will definitely be coming with my list of questions in hand so I have a better idea of why we are just now theorizing that a milk protein allergy is the possible cause. I mean, he was pretty confident that she had a Meckle's diverticulum and that didn't not pan out. So, as I go to bed tonight, I will praying for peace. I am a little wound up and am starting to become angry. However, anger is not going to change anything and is pointless. It will only add to the stress. I am going to allow one night to be angry and then move on. Well, I promise to try.

Too Much I Want to Remember

Okay, so as I was reading Pierce his bedtime story tonight I thought of so much more I want to document about this time in the kids' lives right now. I wish I could capture all my favorite moments on video so I will always remember the best parts of them growing up. I want to remember everything but in reality I know that is just not going to be the case.

Current Happenings in Pierce's World at 9.5 months:
*I have to read him the same book, "I Love You Through and Through", before bed or he cries when I put him in his crib. He just loves this book and gets so excited reading it. He now turns the pages by himself and it is too cute. Also, for some reason I haven't figured out, he looks at me and smiles every time we get to the last page.
*He LOVES cinnamon rolls (the refrigerated Pillsbury in a can)! He can eat almost 2 rolls. He also love McDonald's hot cakes. But, his favorite thing to eat is frozen yogurt. As soon as he has that first bite, he starts smacking those lips like crazy.
*He smiles every time he hears the theme song to Dora. Oh, boy!
*He hates being but in his car seat. I think he is ready to face forward. Hang in there for 2 more months buddy!
*He puts EVERYTHING in his mouth.
*He has to sleep with his pacifier. And he only likes the NUK brand. He won't even grab for another kind.
*He has a ton of fun at bath time, just like his sisters.
*He just got his bottom 2 teeth last week.
*We are surprised that he is growing in dark hair. We thought he was going to be the lightest (skin, hair, eyes) of the bunch. And, he has these huge brown eyes. SO adorable. He gets lots of compliments on those flirtatious eyes.
*He is a great sleeper. He goes down between 7:30 and 8:00 at night and wakes up between 8:30 and 9:00 the next morning. I know, great for me. Well, it would be if Emerson slept through the night. He really only takes 1 nap at about noon for 2-3 hours. We are on a great schedule and I love it.
*He is drinking 3 six ounce bottles per day and is eating most table foods. We didn't do baby food for long, thank goodness.
*He mimics, "mama" and "dada" consistently and loves to talk to himself and play in his crib in the mornings.
*He "crawls" all over the house. He has definitely hit that curious stage. He also loves to scoot on his bottom while sitting up. It is only a matter of time before he figures out how to truly crawl and start cruising.

Life through Reagan's eyes:
*Dora is God in her world. The girl is OBSESSED. Seriously, it looks like our house is a shrine to Dora the Explorer. Maybe she instinctively recognizes her Hispanic roots.
*She idolizes her big sister and adores her baby brother.
*She sucks her left thumb unlike Emerson, who sucks her right.
*She LOVES shoes. I may be in trouble when she becomes a teenager.
*She has the best time swinging and sliding at the park or in the backyard.
*She is shy at first and clings to me until she feels comfortable in her surroundings.
*She is really independent and likes to dress and undress herself. She can even change her own wet pull-up. In fact, she is showing signs she is ready to potty-train. Unfortunately, I don't think I am.
*She really enjoys pretending to talk on the phone. She mostly talks to Nonna, Papa, daddy and Cinderella. Interestingly, not Dora.
*Her favorite thing to eat is chicken nuggets (as long as they are not from Chick-fil-A). She also loves strawberries and grapes. Unfortunately, she and Emerson have switched eating behaviors. Reagan is now the picky eater and Emerson has been branching out.
*We have put an end to Reagan's juice addiction and she is now only allowed to have one sippy cup of orange juice in the morning and sometimes I let her bring a juice box to the park.
*She has started this "hoarding-like" behavior and want to bring like 5 toys with her everywhere. But, it is not always the same ones. She picks a few different ones that she becomes attached to every day. Really weird. She is my quirky, peculiar child for sure.

Emerson's Reality as a "Big Girl!":
*She has become really interested in TV shows like "iCarly". I don't really know how she relates but she is definitely entertained. In fact, I can't get her to sit longer than 15 minutes for an animated movie, but she watched the entire "Chipmunks Squeakuel". I really want to be able to have an excuse to buy all the Disney movies I loved as a child on DVD but she won't watch them. She loves the idea of Cinderella and all the toys but won't watch the movie.
*She LOVES to be outside. We have been taking advantage of the great weather (aside for the last couple of days) and been going to the park everyday. Even though we have a swing set, she still wants to go to the park. She still plays outside in the backyard on a daily basis but still likes to earn trips to the park with good behavior.
*She is obsessed with our backyard/garage/alley neighbor. He is retired and smokes in his garage so he is constantly opening the garage door and we can see him each time from our living room. Anytime we are outside, she climbs up the slide to look over the fence and starts chatting away with him. Poor guy probably wishes we'd move so he can go back to smoking in peace.
*She prefers to wear pajamas and would wear them in public if we let her. We will literally walk in the door and she is going to her room to change.
*The child has an unbelievable memory. I am thinking she is going to do great in school! I think it is photographic. I mean, she remembers EVERYTHING!
*Ice cream/frozen yogurt and chocolate are separate food groups in her world. Definitely takes after her daddy with her sweet tooth. We have really been enjoying all the new self-serve yogurt shops that keep popping up. We have one we love to go to by our house. They even have a TV playing new children's movies set up with little chairs. They love it.
*She doesn't like juice and only drinks water unless you are offering soda.
*She is my personal secretary and answers my phone whenever it rings.
*We have to visit the Dollar Spot every time we go to Target (at the end with good behavior of course)!
*She still has a very difficult time getting to sleep and ends up in bed with us sometime before 3 am each night. Most nights neither Jamie nor I notice exactly when she climbs in to "snuggle". And each night when we are tucking her in she asks, "when can I come snuggle with you in your bed?" And each night the answer is always, "in the morning". However, each night she ends up sprawled out in between us way before the sun rises. Our fault, I know, for not putting her back in her room as soon as we notice.
*She still sucks her thumb. It is not a huge focus right now with everything else that is going on.
*She refuses to spend the night at her grandparents' houses because she says she'll "miss me too much".
*She is extremely dramatic and we do not foresee that she will be in any type of contact sport.

There is so much more that I am probably going to remember tonight as I lay down to attempt a good night's rest, but here is a start. I love how each of my kids have their own distinct personality and that their lives are evolving before my eyes. They are constantly changing and yet their core spirit remains the same. Emerson is a free spirit and has been since she was in the womb. She is very dramatic and creative. You can tell she is left brain dominant. Yet, we also see glimpses of an A-type personality. Reagan is quirky and rambunctious but also very reserved. You can tell what she is thinking with just looking at the expression in her eyes. And Pierce, he is predictable, sweet, and charismatic. Even though they are all different, I am blessed that they are all extremely happy children. They love life and it shows. Their curiosity and innocence about the world is enviable.

My Favorite Time of Year!!!

Yep, playoff basketball! GO MAVS!!! Did you think I was going to say spring? I do love spring and the weather that comes with it. I can't tell you how much I love 75 degree weather. Not too hot and not too cold. But, the best thing about spring is playoff basketball. I've loved basketball ever since my grandaddy started taking me to Spurs games as a little girl. Sorry grandaddy, but I'm rooting for the Mavs! I still have my coyote mascot stuffed animal. Even though I'm a Mavericks fan now I can't seem to part ways with it. My basketball roots start in San Antonio.

Enough about my love for basketball. It has been a long time since my last post and I doubt I will be able to update you all on everything that has gone on. We have been busy and I am extremely tired. I think I may be even more sleep deprived now than I was when Pierce was a newborn. I will try to just touch on the highlights of the past 6 or 7 weeks but even then it will be a long post. So, here is the warning: if you aren't that interested in the latest adventures of a 4, 2, and almost 1 year-old then this would be a great place to stop reading. Don't say I didn't' warn you if your done reading and you think "gosh, I just wasted 15 minutes of my life that I'll never get back just now". This post is mainly just for me to look back on because life has been so hectic that I can't remember what I ate for breakfast this morning. At any rate, I do try to make it fun to read at the off chance someone else reads this.

So, I had to go and read my last post to see where I left off. Since then Emerson has had more blood work, another GI test, and another surgery. There was no cutting during the surgery but they had to put her to sleep again. That makes 3 times this year. She was very brave but you can tell these hospital visits are taking its toll on her. Last Monday they performed an endoscopy, sigmoidoscopy, and a capsule endoscopy at Children's Dallas. The capsule endoscopy is the latest tool that GI docs have to look for abnormalities. They inserted a capsule that is actually a camera inside her small intestine that then proceeded to take 2 pictures every second for 8 hours as it traveled through the bottom of her GI tract. We are hoping to get those results this week. I may go into more detail about our visit at Children's in a later post but for now I will just say I was less than impressed with the Dallas location. The upper GI series with a small bowel follow through ruled out any blockages in the GI tract that could be causing the bleeding. The surgeon on Monday shed some insight on why they are having a difficult time in locating the source of the bleeding. Basically, she has to be bleeding at the time of these procedures. Well, her problem seems to be happening intermittently and the procedures have just so happened to occur during the times where the bleeding has been inactive. This information of course did not eliminate any of my frustrations and fear but did ease a small amount of anger and resentment I've had toward some of the physicians. I had been holding up pretty well and making it through her procedures without getting emotional until Monday. The 3 previous times they have put Emerson to sleep I have been able to be in the room with her. They do things a little differently at Children's. So as they wheeled her off still awake to the OR (again, no cutting) I reached my breaking point and got emotional. I felt so helpless and was so afraid she was going to be scared and I couldn't do anything about it. It is definitely one of the worst feelings I've had yet as a mom. It didn't help that I was there alone. Jamie couldn't go because the "big guys" from corporate were in town to tour the restaurant with potential investors. Fortunately, she did great thanks to that anxiety medicine they gave her beforehand. Okay enough of the medical drama.......

And on to the little ones. Back on March 30th I took Reagan and Pierce to their well check-up appointments. At 2, Reagan is right on track as we suspected. She is our healthy girl and really haven't had any concerns with her since her 1 year check-up. She has been in for a few ear infections but other than that is in perfect health. Her behavior, on the other hand, needs some tweaking. Let's just say she has entered the "terrible twos" with a fury. This behavior has included full blown-throw herself on the floor-screaming at the top of her lungs-abundant tears flowing tantrums smack dab in the middle of Target. And yes, just last week as I was trying to ignore this hideous outburst that one of the cashiers picked her up to console her. Yep, that's right, totally reinforced the blood-curdling cries to where I'm sure she is bound to do it again on our next trip in hopes that the nice lady in red is there to rescue her from her mean mommy. She is however doing really cute things as well. She wants to be exactly like Emerson and does EVERYTHING she does. She literally follows behind Emerson and mimics everything from mannerisms to words. Most of the time Emerson obliges but there are other times where she just gets annoyed. And boy do I remember those days (sorry Heather and Michele). A few things I definitely don't want to forget: her "Reagan drives a car" dance move; the way she runs with her arms behind her back; how her "I love you" is so slurred that Jamie and I are the only ones that know what she is saying; and her obsession with Dora.

And for Mr. Pierce, his 9 month check-up wasn't AS great as Reagan's but nothing too alarming. 90% of babies have outgrown their reflux by this point. Well, Pierce falls in that unfortunate 10%. Really, I'm the unfortunate one because I am cleaning up and covered in spit up all the time. He continues to spit up to 20-30 times daily. The reflux has not improved at all and in fact it has become more of a nuisance. Why? Because now it is multi-colored and chunky. I know gross. But, it doesn't bother him so that's all that matters. He is what they call a "happy spitter". Yay, I guess. He falls in the 20 percentile in weight at almost 18 pounds and 4% in height. Poor guy got his dad's short genes. He is somewhat behind the girls in his milestones and I'm convinced that is my fault. Emerson hit all her milestones either on time or early because I was constantly working with her. Partly because I had nothing else to do and another part to ensure I was a "good mom". Well, poor Pierce hardly ever gets 1:1 time. Most of the time I am talking at him or around him not to him. Tonight I worked with him some on saying "mama" and what do you know he repeated me. He's smarter than I thought. He is trying really hard to crawl but most of the time settles on just getting around by doing a fish/frog style type crawl. Not quite the army crawl, but more of what looks like the breast-stroke in swimming. Little does he know he is doing the hard way. He is EXTREMELY protective of his mommy and gives anyone the evil-eye that gets close to me, including Jamie. In fact, every time Jamie gives me a hug Pierce starts to scream. WAY CUTE! I hope he is always protective of me. I'm proud to say that I have a "mama's boy"!!!! It is the non-stop screaming, just because he has figured out how to get some one's attention, that is NOT CUTE. Seriously, if I am in the room but not engaged with him he screams. It is not necessarily a mad or sad scream but a "hey, I still here" scream. We all thought it was cute a first and totally reinforced this behavior by laughing and well, it has gotten way out of control and I'm at a loss of what to do. I don't know how to get a 9 month old to stop doing something. I tried sternly telling him "no" and made him cry. Well, then I felt guilty. So, I tried ignoring it. Well, he does it in public and people started staring and giving me dirty looks. So, I am at a loss. Seriously, it is so bad I am contemplating giving my pediatrician a call just to ask, "how do I get my kid to shut-up?" No, but I do need quick solution. I still love him to pieces despite his constant "school-girl, like screeching".

Well, I warned you this post would be long. I really have a tendency to ramble. I think that may be because I pretend the computer is an actual person I'm having a conversation with other than toddlers and babies. I'm not going to lie, these last couple of weeks have really been a beating. I really needed to take a moment and regroup. Thanks to those who have read to this point for "listening". I had a great time today chatting with adults at my sister's bridal shower so I feel somewhat recharged for this coming week. I hope the weather perks up again because we have been doing a lot of things outdoors and the kids love it. And, I love getting out of the house other than going to Target. Plus, it is easier on the wallet to get out and go the park. I will try to do better about the updates and Emerson's results. I know some of you that I don't get to talk to on a regular basis check this for information.

Until next time, GO MAVS!!!! Great start tonight with a win against the Spurs!

Oh, and the picture posted were taken April 9th. I'll post more later. All the pics from the shoot turned out amazing.