One Step at a Time....literally and metaphorically!

Look who is getting to be a BIG BOY!

Wow, it has been a hectic 2 months, hence the absence of new posts. Emerson had her first day of preschool today and I feel like I can breathe a little bit. I thought I would take this time while the other 2 kids are watching Nick's Mega Music Fest to update the blog. Side note, the kids are obsessed with this special!!! I'm glad I thought to DVR the show because it is a GREAT distraction for when I need 45 minutes to get some things around the house done. In fact, I actually like watching it with them on occasion. We have a great time acting singing along and dancing.

I guess I'll start with an update on Emerson. I will try to condense everything as much as possible. She had exploratory surgery and a CAT scan on September 10th. Much to our dismay, they came up empty once again. Still no answers. Emerson was a champ and did way better than I expected! I am so proud of her. Thank God kids are resilient! She had 3 small incisions that are healing fantastically. She did such a great job bouncing back to her bubbly self that we let her go to school today instead of waiting another week. Me, on the other hand, is having a harder time getting back into the groove of things. The night spent at the hospital was brutal! I got absolutely ZERO sleep with all the damn beeping of the machines. And I had not slept the night before because I was so anxious. First it would be her IV (they set it to check every 30 minutes, UGH). Needless to say, I quickly learned out to reset it myself. Then after they would come fix that, one of her leads would cause the alarm to go off. And then when I would finally start to drift off a nurse or tech would come in to do their 4 hour vital check. Luckily Emerson was on morphine so she slept through it all. Okay, enough griping. I won't go into my less than stellar evaluation of the hospital. I may end of offending someone. I took Emerson back to the hematologist last Thursday with 2 pages of questions after a good 3 hours of my own research. I have to say, Dr. Cavalier was amazing and was not at all offended that I took it upon myself to do my own researching. She spent a good hour answering all my questions and explaining the different processes of the blood and how it all applies to Emerson's condition. I need to back up a little bit. In the hospital Emerson's hemoglobin dropped to 9 and they start doing blood transfusions at 8. She was definitely in the danger zone and Jamie and I decided we needed refocus our attention. Right now we are more concerned with restoring her red blood cells and iron storage than finding the GI bleed. So, Emerson will be starting IV iron infusion therapy. Basically she we be hooked to an IV once a week for an hour while they pump her full of iron. We will be doing this indefinitely as they watch how her blood responds. If her body does not start immediately making new RBC's than the hematologist will suspect there is something wrong with her bone marrow. Did your heart miss a beat? Mine did too. I will be a wreck if they have to do a bone marrow biopsy. So prayers needed in that regard. WE DON'T WANT THAT! So, right now the game plan is to wait and watch as her blood tries to restore itself. One theory the docs are not throwing out is that she may have the beginning stages of Crohn's disease. Typically Crohn's is not diagnosed until late adolescence so she is pretty young. But, she is having classic symptoms that match the diagnosis. It is possible that because she is so young that the damage has not progressed enough in her small intestine to be able to diagnose at this point. So, again, we are praying against that as well. Sorry, that ended up being a short novel. I do want to say that amidst everything Emerson has gone through, I am very grateful she is alive, happy, and able to do all the things normal preschoolers get to do. I feel so much sorrow for all the parents and children I encounter each trip we make to Children's that are far worse off than Emerson. I am reminded each time how lucky I am and that God is only going to give us as much as we can handle. Even so, when it is your own child being put through so much pain and anxiety with all the tests and doctor visits, it does not make it any easier. I want Emerson to be free of all of this. I want her to be COMPLETELY HEALTHY!

Okay, so on to some fun stuff. PIERCE IS WALKING!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! Gosh, we didn't think this day would come. He was just so content with being held and crawling he never wanted to even attempt to walk. But, I shouldn't have worried. Emerson was 15 months and Reagan was 14 months before they started to walk. I'd like to think that Pierce was being polite as to not upstage his sisters. He is too funny. He picked it up so quickly and it is though he has been walking forever. He's not as fussy either. He is better able to play with his sisters and Jamie thinks it is because his knees don't hurt anymore. Who knows? Those knees were pretty roughed up and calloused. He is also starting to point and talk a lot more. YAY! He is also feeding himself with a spoon and fork all on his own. His new favorite trick is to take off his diaper. He knows he is not supposed to and thinks it is hilarious. So, we have to keep shorts or pajama pants on him at all times. He is such a little devious little toot and loves to try to get away with things. I can only imagine how this is going to play out when he gets older. I can't believe how much and how fast he is growing! It is just so fun to watch my kids grow. I cherish my time with them and it hurts sometimes because I love them SO much. I just couldn't imagine my life without them. And I love that they love me back almost as much! They need me and it feels fantastic (most of the time)!

Now, on to Reagan. The middle child. And let me tell you, she is your classic middle child. Kind of quirky. Loud. Craves attention. Restless. However, she is SWEET as can be! She is finally starting to talk a lot more clearly. I'm hoping now that Emerson will be at school 2 days a week that she get in some practice! Poor child, she never gets a word in edge wise because Emerson just talks NONE STOP! I mean, it is relentless. Sometimes I have to tell her to just stop talking. Reagan wants to do everything Emerson does and have everything Emerson has. She idolized her big sister. It is too cute! She is pretty self-sufficient too. She can completely dress herself from head to toe and is constantly telling me she can "do it herself". Now that I can give her some more of my attention, we are going to start potty training. She has already had some success but I just haven't had the time to really focus on it and let her run around in panties. I have a feeling that she will pick it up pretty quickly.

So now that I have caused you all to drift off to sleep, I should probably start giving the little ones some focused attention! Hopefully it won't take me another 2 months to add another post.

Who are you callin' short....not me!

Yay! Pierce is ONE and no longer considered 'short stature'. He has graduated and moved from the 4th percentile to 9th. Woohoo! I was so excited he had his little growth spurt. I mean, he's not going to be tall by any means and may not be a star basketball player, but there is now 8% of the population of one year-old boys out there that are shorter than he is. That sounds a whole heck of a lot better than 3%. He also jumped up in his weight percentile. He is now in the 32nd percentile and outweighed both of his sisters at his 1 year check-up. He is weighing in at a 21 lbs. 10 oz. No wonder my back has been hurting a little bit more lately. I was curious and looked back at the girls stats from their 1 year check-ups. Emerson hadn't even reached 20 lbs at that point and Reagan was 20 lbs even but but were quite a bit longer than Pierce. So, my itty bitty boy is now a lil' short chunk. I think he is going to be a soccer player because he has thick legs. We just need him to start walking so he can work on his dribbling (soccer not basketball) skills. Plus, he may have an advantage because his Aunt Heather can coach him.

Overall his check-up went pretty well. Because he has recently had some strange bruises on his chest and his last CBC came back with him being anemic (I know, when are we going to get a break?) they have ordered a bunch of blood work. Yep, that means another trip to lab at Children's. At least they know us there! And, Emerson is going to be thrilled that she is not the one getting poked this time. I didn't take him today because the poor little guy already got 4 shots today and I have to say he definitely did not do as well with pain as the girls. It's okay, he'll toughen up soon enough. He's going to have to start defending himself because his sisters take EVERYTHING away from him. In fact, I don't think he got a chance to open any of his gifts at his own party this past weekend. Emerson picked out a Toy Story Woody stuffed animal to give to Pierce and I figured out later she picked that one because SHE wanted it to play with. What a little stinker!

I decided to throw my little man a Texas Rangers themed-party. Well, I really did it for my 'big man' because Pierce had NO idea the party was for him. And I'm the first to admit that as much as I can't stand baseball, this party was the most fun I've had planning. It turned out to be a big hit except for the part where his father and I accidentally let him grab his lit candle. He cried and it took a while for him to try his baseball cupcake. He ended up loving it! But, on his real birthday when we lit another cupcake he immediately started crying. He vividly remembered burning his finger. It was so sad. However, he quickly perked up after I offered him some ice cream. He sure does love it, just like his big sister Emmy. The party got a little crazy once the kids went outside in the play pools and started stripping. Yep, 4 out of the 6 kids got butt-naked. Things got so wild at some point that poor little Tripp's (the son of our great friends) bottom started bleeding after too many trips down the slide into the plastic pool. Luckily, it was just a scratch and he was fine. I would post some pictures of the craziness but I might get arrested for kiddie porn.....ha!

As I was looking back at Emerson's 1 year stats I realized I used to record all of her milestones and write what she was doing each month. I feel awful I haven't done the same with the other two. So, here is a little about what Pierce is doing at ONE:

*he was a little slow at reaching these milestones but he IS FINALLY crawling on all fours and pulling to a stand

*he says mama (his first word, which makes me SO happy!) and no (I guess we say that a lot in this house

*he is BY FAR the LOUDEST of the 3 and yells whenever he doesn't get his way

*he LOVES the bath and shower

*he has 2 bottom teeth and we can just now see his top 2 coming in

*his favorite food is fruit (yep, pretty much any fruit you put on his tray he devours)

*he is my only child that accepted whole milk after formula...and I'm proud to say that I will NEVER buy another can of formula EVER AGAIN!

*he really enjoys playing with his sisters and they love playing with him (I got lucky!)

*he likes to bite faces....I know, weird! It's playful not vicious.

*he knows how to give big, wet, slobbery kisses

*we read the same book EVERY night or he gets upset

*much to his father's dismay, he does not like red meat and will only eat chicken

*he LOVES to swing

*he's a GREAT sleeper, sleeping 11-12 hours at night and 1-2 naps totally 3 hours during the day

*he put EVERYTHING in his mouth, even fitting an entire golf ball (toy) in his mouth. And, yes we put them away until he stops doing that.

*LASTLY, HE IS THE CUTEST LIL' MAN I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON AND I LOVE HIM MORE EVERY DAY! I can't imagine my life without him and he is the BEST 'oops' of our lives!

Well, hello again.....

So, I just haven't had the energy to keep up with this blog. I really doubt too many of you are that disappointed. But, for those of you who are checking for updates on Emerson I thought I would post a quick note about what has transpired since my last post.

~The milk/dairy-free diet DID NOT work. And, she was a real trooper for the 4 weeks we tried it. When we got word from the doctor that it was okay to quit the diet we drove through McD's to Emerson a chocolate shake. She took one sip, looked at me and said, "oh my goodness mom, this is sooooooooo delicious!" It was too cute and I was so happy she was happy.

~Unfortunately because the diet didn't work, her hemoglobin and hematocrit levels have continued to decline. She is nearing transfusion (blood) levels so we are now taking very proactive steps in finding the source of the bleeding.......

~Which means that she will be having exploratory surgery. We meet with the pediatric surgeon on June 22nd. He is currently the Chief of Surgery at Children's in Plano so we feel confident in his abilities. And with today's technology, this is considered to be a fairly noninvasive surgery with the main risk being general anesthesia. And, we know she has done well the other times she has been put under. Other than some mild nausea (that is controlled quickly with some IV meds), she bounces right back.

~The surgeon will cut a small opening at her belly button and insert an instrument that guides through the entire digestive tract to look for the site of the bleeding. They still hold true to the theory that it is a Meckel's diverticulum or lesion from an ulcer which should be visible to the surgeon.

~Tomorrow, Emerson will have another Meckel's scan at Children's to check ONE more time to see if they can see any abnormal growths before the surgery

~We are hoping the surgery will provide the doctors with the answers we have been waiting for since all this started over a year ago.

~If not, we already have a plan B. Our pediatrician would then refer us to the MayoClinic for pediatrics (which is in Minnesota). Think Dr. House from the television show. Basically, you go for about a week where you are set up with a team of doctors that specialize in different parts of the body and do a battery of tests in hopes that they can solve "this medical mystery" that the doctors keep referring to. It is just so discouraging every time the doctor comes back without any answers and says, "Emerson is STILL just a mystery to us."

~However, we do feel confident that the problem (once it is officially diagnosed) can easily be fixed. She has been through so many tests and has been carefully monitored that we know the big answer isn't going to be a tumor or cancer or any other horrible word. I feel so much empathy for mothers and fathers out there that have to watch their children suffer through the rigors of cancer. I have a hard time watching Emerson get her blood taken, I can not imagine what those parents and children go through during treatment of such a terrible disease. All in all, I would say that Jamie and I are pretty darn lucky and blessed.

Okay, so that wasn't exactly a quick note. I will try to be better about posting on a more regular basis. The other 2 kiddos are doing fantastic! Pierce is going to be ONE exactly 2 weeks from today. I can't even imagine the emotions I will feel that day. He is my last baby and it has all gone by TOO fast. I'll try to put a post about him after his birthday to let you all know what he's been up to.

Please keep Emerson in your thoughts tomorrow. Even though she has become a pro with all the procedures she has done, she still doesn't WANT to go to Children's tomorrow. She knows the drill, but it doesn't make it any easier on either one of us.

I'll end on a light note: GO CELTICS! SQUASH KOBE!!! (Gosh, I can't stand that guy!)

Results are in.....SORT OF.

Okay, we are beyond frustrated at this point. I got a call from Emerson's GI doctor today with the results of her capsule endoscopy. Every thing looks normal EXCEPT that the mucosa lining of the small bowel is swollen and fragile (it started to bleed as soon as he inserted the camera). That doesn't even make sense. "Everything looked normal expect". Can anyone explain that phrase to me. Anyway, he said that this swelling was non-specific which is doctor code for "we still don't know what the hell we are dealing with here." So, what's the next step? You are not going to believe this, because I sure didn't. He suggests that this could all be from a milk protein allergy and to put her on a milk/dairy-free diet for a month to see if her hemoglobin and hematocrit levels rise. Are you kidding me? Shouldn't this have been the first step in the diagnosis process? It is the non-invasive approach! If it turns out that the final diagnosis is a milk protein allergy after 18 months of GI issues, I might have to turn all Erin Brockovich and find a way to get all our money back for these outrageously expensive tests. Not to mention all the trauma Emerson has gone through with doctor visits, hospital visits, anesthesia, bowel preps, blood draws, etc. Why has this never been mentioned before. I mean, Reagan had a milk protein allergy as an infant and outgrew it shortly after her first birthday. They had the same GI doctor so he knew the genetic history. Just further proof that these doctors have their heads so far up their asses they can't put two and two together. I'm thinking I can claim fraud and emotional distress. Sounds reasonable, right?

Part of me wants this to be the answer because that means an end to all the testing and no surgery. An easy fix, right? Well, eventually an easy fix. It will definitely be hard to put Emerson on a milk free diet. Just in my post I wrote of how much she LOVES ice cream and chocolate. She has made leaps and bounds toward branching out her diet. The variety of foods she will now eat is so much greater now. Just today I was watching her eat and thought about how proud I was of her. I am no longer worried that she is not getting a balanced diet. Last night she ate a hamburger (with requested lettuce and tomato) and today she ate a teryaki chicken and rice dish with red pepper and carrots over pizza. Now, I am going to have to tell her "no" to some of the foods she has grown to like. I am really going to have to get creative. At least for this month she can't have anything that contains milk. This includes cheese, yogurt, ice cream, butter, chocolate. The real question is "what CAN she eat?" To give you an idea of how drastically her diet will have to change, this is what she ate today that included milk products: cheerios with milk for breakfast; a Yoplait yogurt smoothie drink and a piece of bread with Nutella spread for lunch; a brownie for an afternoon snack; a go-gurt yogurt for a snack before bed. Plus, she asked several times to go get ice cream as well.

The other hard part of this diet is how to make sure Reagan and Pierce are getting their adequate dairy intake on a daily basis. Reagan doesn't drink milk and also loves cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. Do I deny her these things as well. Do I not even have these products in the refrigerator to offer anyone? I'm really going to miss the fun trips to the yogurt shop that Emerson loves so much. However, Jamie may be the hardest to retrain. He loves having chocolate, chocolate chip cookies and ice cream in the house. He is now going to have to sneak his goodies at work. So much to think about. I don't think I am going to get much sleep tonight.

Of course my first question for the doctor was, "what if this doesn't help with the bleeding?" Well, that means more diagnostic testing. At least we know for sure we have a month long break from anything invasive. I have an appointment with the nutritionist at Children's on May 5th to go over this diet plan. I'm not too sure of the reason. How complicated can it be? I will definitely be coming with my list of questions in hand so I have a better idea of why we are just now theorizing that a milk protein allergy is the possible cause. I mean, he was pretty confident that she had a Meckle's diverticulum and that didn't not pan out. So, as I go to bed tonight, I will praying for peace. I am a little wound up and am starting to become angry. However, anger is not going to change anything and is pointless. It will only add to the stress. I am going to allow one night to be angry and then move on. Well, I promise to try.

Too Much I Want to Remember

Okay, so as I was reading Pierce his bedtime story tonight I thought of so much more I want to document about this time in the kids' lives right now. I wish I could capture all my favorite moments on video so I will always remember the best parts of them growing up. I want to remember everything but in reality I know that is just not going to be the case.

Current Happenings in Pierce's World at 9.5 months:
*I have to read him the same book, "I Love You Through and Through", before bed or he cries when I put him in his crib. He just loves this book and gets so excited reading it. He now turns the pages by himself and it is too cute. Also, for some reason I haven't figured out, he looks at me and smiles every time we get to the last page.
*He LOVES cinnamon rolls (the refrigerated Pillsbury in a can)! He can eat almost 2 rolls. He also love McDonald's hot cakes. But, his favorite thing to eat is frozen yogurt. As soon as he has that first bite, he starts smacking those lips like crazy.
*He smiles every time he hears the theme song to Dora. Oh, boy!
*He hates being but in his car seat. I think he is ready to face forward. Hang in there for 2 more months buddy!
*He puts EVERYTHING in his mouth.
*He has to sleep with his pacifier. And he only likes the NUK brand. He won't even grab for another kind.
*He has a ton of fun at bath time, just like his sisters.
*He just got his bottom 2 teeth last week.
*We are surprised that he is growing in dark hair. We thought he was going to be the lightest (skin, hair, eyes) of the bunch. And, he has these huge brown eyes. SO adorable. He gets lots of compliments on those flirtatious eyes.
*He is a great sleeper. He goes down between 7:30 and 8:00 at night and wakes up between 8:30 and 9:00 the next morning. I know, great for me. Well, it would be if Emerson slept through the night. He really only takes 1 nap at about noon for 2-3 hours. We are on a great schedule and I love it.
*He is drinking 3 six ounce bottles per day and is eating most table foods. We didn't do baby food for long, thank goodness.
*He mimics, "mama" and "dada" consistently and loves to talk to himself and play in his crib in the mornings.
*He "crawls" all over the house. He has definitely hit that curious stage. He also loves to scoot on his bottom while sitting up. It is only a matter of time before he figures out how to truly crawl and start cruising.

Life through Reagan's eyes:
*Dora is God in her world. The girl is OBSESSED. Seriously, it looks like our house is a shrine to Dora the Explorer. Maybe she instinctively recognizes her Hispanic roots.
*She idolizes her big sister and adores her baby brother.
*She sucks her left thumb unlike Emerson, who sucks her right.
*She LOVES shoes. I may be in trouble when she becomes a teenager.
*She has the best time swinging and sliding at the park or in the backyard.
*She is shy at first and clings to me until she feels comfortable in her surroundings.
*She is really independent and likes to dress and undress herself. She can even change her own wet pull-up. In fact, she is showing signs she is ready to potty-train. Unfortunately, I don't think I am.
*She really enjoys pretending to talk on the phone. She mostly talks to Nonna, Papa, daddy and Cinderella. Interestingly, not Dora.
*Her favorite thing to eat is chicken nuggets (as long as they are not from Chick-fil-A). She also loves strawberries and grapes. Unfortunately, she and Emerson have switched eating behaviors. Reagan is now the picky eater and Emerson has been branching out.
*We have put an end to Reagan's juice addiction and she is now only allowed to have one sippy cup of orange juice in the morning and sometimes I let her bring a juice box to the park.
*She has started this "hoarding-like" behavior and want to bring like 5 toys with her everywhere. But, it is not always the same ones. She picks a few different ones that she becomes attached to every day. Really weird. She is my quirky, peculiar child for sure.

Emerson's Reality as a "Big Girl!":
*She has become really interested in TV shows like "iCarly". I don't really know how she relates but she is definitely entertained. In fact, I can't get her to sit longer than 15 minutes for an animated movie, but she watched the entire "Chipmunks Squeakuel". I really want to be able to have an excuse to buy all the Disney movies I loved as a child on DVD but she won't watch them. She loves the idea of Cinderella and all the toys but won't watch the movie.
*She LOVES to be outside. We have been taking advantage of the great weather (aside for the last couple of days) and been going to the park everyday. Even though we have a swing set, she still wants to go to the park. She still plays outside in the backyard on a daily basis but still likes to earn trips to the park with good behavior.
*She is obsessed with our backyard/garage/alley neighbor. He is retired and smokes in his garage so he is constantly opening the garage door and we can see him each time from our living room. Anytime we are outside, she climbs up the slide to look over the fence and starts chatting away with him. Poor guy probably wishes we'd move so he can go back to smoking in peace.
*She prefers to wear pajamas and would wear them in public if we let her. We will literally walk in the door and she is going to her room to change.
*The child has an unbelievable memory. I am thinking she is going to do great in school! I think it is photographic. I mean, she remembers EVERYTHING!
*Ice cream/frozen yogurt and chocolate are separate food groups in her world. Definitely takes after her daddy with her sweet tooth. We have really been enjoying all the new self-serve yogurt shops that keep popping up. We have one we love to go to by our house. They even have a TV playing new children's movies set up with little chairs. They love it.
*She doesn't like juice and only drinks water unless you are offering soda.
*She is my personal secretary and answers my phone whenever it rings.
*We have to visit the Dollar Spot every time we go to Target (at the end with good behavior of course)!
*She still has a very difficult time getting to sleep and ends up in bed with us sometime before 3 am each night. Most nights neither Jamie nor I notice exactly when she climbs in to "snuggle". And each night when we are tucking her in she asks, "when can I come snuggle with you in your bed?" And each night the answer is always, "in the morning". However, each night she ends up sprawled out in between us way before the sun rises. Our fault, I know, for not putting her back in her room as soon as we notice.
*She still sucks her thumb. It is not a huge focus right now with everything else that is going on.
*She refuses to spend the night at her grandparents' houses because she says she'll "miss me too much".
*She is extremely dramatic and we do not foresee that she will be in any type of contact sport.

There is so much more that I am probably going to remember tonight as I lay down to attempt a good night's rest, but here is a start. I love how each of my kids have their own distinct personality and that their lives are evolving before my eyes. They are constantly changing and yet their core spirit remains the same. Emerson is a free spirit and has been since she was in the womb. She is very dramatic and creative. You can tell she is left brain dominant. Yet, we also see glimpses of an A-type personality. Reagan is quirky and rambunctious but also very reserved. You can tell what she is thinking with just looking at the expression in her eyes. And Pierce, he is predictable, sweet, and charismatic. Even though they are all different, I am blessed that they are all extremely happy children. They love life and it shows. Their curiosity and innocence about the world is enviable.

My Favorite Time of Year!!!

Yep, playoff basketball! GO MAVS!!! Did you think I was going to say spring? I do love spring and the weather that comes with it. I can't tell you how much I love 75 degree weather. Not too hot and not too cold. But, the best thing about spring is playoff basketball. I've loved basketball ever since my grandaddy started taking me to Spurs games as a little girl. Sorry grandaddy, but I'm rooting for the Mavs! I still have my coyote mascot stuffed animal. Even though I'm a Mavericks fan now I can't seem to part ways with it. My basketball roots start in San Antonio.

Enough about my love for basketball. It has been a long time since my last post and I doubt I will be able to update you all on everything that has gone on. We have been busy and I am extremely tired. I think I may be even more sleep deprived now than I was when Pierce was a newborn. I will try to just touch on the highlights of the past 6 or 7 weeks but even then it will be a long post. So, here is the warning: if you aren't that interested in the latest adventures of a 4, 2, and almost 1 year-old then this would be a great place to stop reading. Don't say I didn't' warn you if your done reading and you think "gosh, I just wasted 15 minutes of my life that I'll never get back just now". This post is mainly just for me to look back on because life has been so hectic that I can't remember what I ate for breakfast this morning. At any rate, I do try to make it fun to read at the off chance someone else reads this.

So, I had to go and read my last post to see where I left off. Since then Emerson has had more blood work, another GI test, and another surgery. There was no cutting during the surgery but they had to put her to sleep again. That makes 3 times this year. She was very brave but you can tell these hospital visits are taking its toll on her. Last Monday they performed an endoscopy, sigmoidoscopy, and a capsule endoscopy at Children's Dallas. The capsule endoscopy is the latest tool that GI docs have to look for abnormalities. They inserted a capsule that is actually a camera inside her small intestine that then proceeded to take 2 pictures every second for 8 hours as it traveled through the bottom of her GI tract. We are hoping to get those results this week. I may go into more detail about our visit at Children's in a later post but for now I will just say I was less than impressed with the Dallas location. The upper GI series with a small bowel follow through ruled out any blockages in the GI tract that could be causing the bleeding. The surgeon on Monday shed some insight on why they are having a difficult time in locating the source of the bleeding. Basically, she has to be bleeding at the time of these procedures. Well, her problem seems to be happening intermittently and the procedures have just so happened to occur during the times where the bleeding has been inactive. This information of course did not eliminate any of my frustrations and fear but did ease a small amount of anger and resentment I've had toward some of the physicians. I had been holding up pretty well and making it through her procedures without getting emotional until Monday. The 3 previous times they have put Emerson to sleep I have been able to be in the room with her. They do things a little differently at Children's. So as they wheeled her off still awake to the OR (again, no cutting) I reached my breaking point and got emotional. I felt so helpless and was so afraid she was going to be scared and I couldn't do anything about it. It is definitely one of the worst feelings I've had yet as a mom. It didn't help that I was there alone. Jamie couldn't go because the "big guys" from corporate were in town to tour the restaurant with potential investors. Fortunately, she did great thanks to that anxiety medicine they gave her beforehand. Okay enough of the medical drama.......

And on to the little ones. Back on March 30th I took Reagan and Pierce to their well check-up appointments. At 2, Reagan is right on track as we suspected. She is our healthy girl and really haven't had any concerns with her since her 1 year check-up. She has been in for a few ear infections but other than that is in perfect health. Her behavior, on the other hand, needs some tweaking. Let's just say she has entered the "terrible twos" with a fury. This behavior has included full blown-throw herself on the floor-screaming at the top of her lungs-abundant tears flowing tantrums smack dab in the middle of Target. And yes, just last week as I was trying to ignore this hideous outburst that one of the cashiers picked her up to console her. Yep, that's right, totally reinforced the blood-curdling cries to where I'm sure she is bound to do it again on our next trip in hopes that the nice lady in red is there to rescue her from her mean mommy. She is however doing really cute things as well. She wants to be exactly like Emerson and does EVERYTHING she does. She literally follows behind Emerson and mimics everything from mannerisms to words. Most of the time Emerson obliges but there are other times where she just gets annoyed. And boy do I remember those days (sorry Heather and Michele). A few things I definitely don't want to forget: her "Reagan drives a car" dance move; the way she runs with her arms behind her back; how her "I love you" is so slurred that Jamie and I are the only ones that know what she is saying; and her obsession with Dora.

And for Mr. Pierce, his 9 month check-up wasn't AS great as Reagan's but nothing too alarming. 90% of babies have outgrown their reflux by this point. Well, Pierce falls in that unfortunate 10%. Really, I'm the unfortunate one because I am cleaning up and covered in spit up all the time. He continues to spit up to 20-30 times daily. The reflux has not improved at all and in fact it has become more of a nuisance. Why? Because now it is multi-colored and chunky. I know gross. But, it doesn't bother him so that's all that matters. He is what they call a "happy spitter". Yay, I guess. He falls in the 20 percentile in weight at almost 18 pounds and 4% in height. Poor guy got his dad's short genes. He is somewhat behind the girls in his milestones and I'm convinced that is my fault. Emerson hit all her milestones either on time or early because I was constantly working with her. Partly because I had nothing else to do and another part to ensure I was a "good mom". Well, poor Pierce hardly ever gets 1:1 time. Most of the time I am talking at him or around him not to him. Tonight I worked with him some on saying "mama" and what do you know he repeated me. He's smarter than I thought. He is trying really hard to crawl but most of the time settles on just getting around by doing a fish/frog style type crawl. Not quite the army crawl, but more of what looks like the breast-stroke in swimming. Little does he know he is doing the hard way. He is EXTREMELY protective of his mommy and gives anyone the evil-eye that gets close to me, including Jamie. In fact, every time Jamie gives me a hug Pierce starts to scream. WAY CUTE! I hope he is always protective of me. I'm proud to say that I have a "mama's boy"!!!! It is the non-stop screaming, just because he has figured out how to get some one's attention, that is NOT CUTE. Seriously, if I am in the room but not engaged with him he screams. It is not necessarily a mad or sad scream but a "hey, I still here" scream. We all thought it was cute a first and totally reinforced this behavior by laughing and well, it has gotten way out of control and I'm at a loss of what to do. I don't know how to get a 9 month old to stop doing something. I tried sternly telling him "no" and made him cry. Well, then I felt guilty. So, I tried ignoring it. Well, he does it in public and people started staring and giving me dirty looks. So, I am at a loss. Seriously, it is so bad I am contemplating giving my pediatrician a call just to ask, "how do I get my kid to shut-up?" No, but I do need quick solution. I still love him to pieces despite his constant "school-girl, like screeching".

Well, I warned you this post would be long. I really have a tendency to ramble. I think that may be because I pretend the computer is an actual person I'm having a conversation with other than toddlers and babies. I'm not going to lie, these last couple of weeks have really been a beating. I really needed to take a moment and regroup. Thanks to those who have read to this point for "listening". I had a great time today chatting with adults at my sister's bridal shower so I feel somewhat recharged for this coming week. I hope the weather perks up again because we have been doing a lot of things outdoors and the kids love it. And, I love getting out of the house other than going to Target. Plus, it is easier on the wallet to get out and go the park. I will try to do better about the updates and Emerson's results. I know some of you that I don't get to talk to on a regular basis check this for information.

Until next time, GO MAVS!!!! Great start tonight with a win against the Spurs!

Oh, and the picture posted were taken April 9th. I'll post more later. All the pics from the shoot turned out amazing.

NOT what I wanted to hear.......

It looks like we are going to be spending a lot more time in doctors' offices. Over the weekend we noticed Emerson had started eating the dry wall again. Jamie and I had suspected her iron levels were dropping again because Emerson was starting to have erratic sleeping patterns and irritable behavior even before this last weekend. I took her in to see our pediatrician this morning to have her blood drawn and the test confirmed our suspicions. Her hemoglobin and hematocrit levels have both dropped to unhealthy levels. After her series of tests in December and January failed to give us any answers, Jamie and I decided to give Emerson a break from all the doctors unless her levels dropped again. I knew we would eventually have to revisit and address her medical concerns but I had hoped it wouldn't be this soon. So, after a long visit today we have a new game plan. I told our pediatrician I wanted a new pediatric gastroenterologist to give us a fresh perspective. She suggested that we go to Cook's Childrens in Fort Worth. She is going to be making some calls this week and talking to several specialists to hopefully put us in contact with the best of the best in the area. We could go to Childrens here in Dallas but she warned me that it is a teaching hospital and it may be a longer process. Obviously I didn't want to go that route. I think Emerson has suffered long enough. Poor thing has been having these issues (followed by lots of traumatic testing, procedures, hospital stays, etc.) since October of 2008. Emerson is only 4, so that is a large chunk of her life spent in doctor's offices. I am more than willing to drive the extra mileage to Fort Worth to get Emerson the best treatment. Heck, we will take her across the country if we know we will get answers.

We have taken her out of MDO this year because her immune system was unable to fight off any bacterial or viral infections. My goal is to have this "medical mystery", as they call it, solved and fixed before September so she can start back school in the fall. I also have Reagan enrolled, so I am really excited about having 2 days a week with only Pierce. Poor little guy rarely gets my undivided attention. Speaking of Pierce, we can't believe he is 8 months old today. Even more so, I am in shock that it is already March. And, that means that Reagan is turning 2 this month. Seriously!?!?!? My babies are growing up way to quickly! At the end of the month I will be taking Reagan in for her 2 year check-up and Pierce's 9 month, so I will give you updates on what they have been up to lately then. Let's just say for now that life in the Luna house is getting pretty loud, hectic, busy, chaotic.....you get the idea.

Want to know what I've been up to lately? Well, I'll tell you even if you aren't interested. Aside from the usual: fixing meals, cleaning up after meals, changing diapers, loads upon loads of laundry, giving baths, picking up a gazillion toys, etc. You might wonder if I really have any time after all of that. I have found the key is making time even if that means a little less sleep. If I don't do something for myself that I enjoy or take a few hours every now and then to do grocery shopping sans kids, I will be doing my kids an injustice. If I just go,go,go....all about the kids all the time, then I will go mentally insane. When I find my voice raising at levels close to yelling more frequently, than I know I need some breathing room and a time-out away from the kids. So, all that to say, I have found a new hobby. Who knew, but I love working on the interior of our house. In the last few weeks I have finished the kids rooms, refinished several pieces of furniture, shopped and bought new furniture for the living room, painted the master bed and living room (Jamie helped with the living room). Our house looks completely different and I love it. We moved right before Pierce was born so I really didn't have time to decorate and I am just now getting around to it. Kind of pathetic I know. Nonetheless, I am so happy with the results. I now feel like I am living in my HOME. The people at Lowe's know us pretty well now. They probably refer to me behind my back as "the crazy lady who brings her 3 young kids to Lowe's every other day". I'm sure they run for the hills if they see me drive up in my white minivan. I have also fell in love with Hobby Lobby. Oh my goodness. I should alert the bank to decline my credit card if I try to make a purchase with it there. I love everything in that store and I easily lose track of time while shopping. In fact, I just found the BEST BARGAIN EVER there today. LOVE IT!!!!

Jamie and I had a FABULOUS couple of days last week. We got to take a pseudo vacation to a hotel downtown for 2 nights and enjoyed every second of it. I did spend a good majority of time sleeping, but well worth it. We started our early weekend off on Wednesday with great seats to the MAVS vs Lakers game. Great game! I'd like to think Dirk dedicated this game for my birthday, since it was the next day. A girl can dream, right!?! On Thursday I had the most relaxing (and much needed) hot stone massage. If I were rich, I would get one EVERY day. And, almost just as good, I took a nap! A long nap! No interruptions! AWESOME!!! When our 2 nights were over, we quickly realized that our 'staycay' was not long enough. Maybe sometime soon we can get away somewhere with sand and ocean for a week. That would be heaven.

But, back to reality. We were quickly reminded today that we have important pressing issues here a home that need our attention. Maybe as celebration once we have Emerson ALL better, we can take that REAL vacation. For now, I am just going to do my best to make this next round of testing as easy for Emerson as possible. Wish me luck!